Wednesday, February 27, 2008

Emails are evil!

Have you ever read an email and not known if the person who sent it was angry or not?

Emails are a horrible way to communicate. Let me give an example. Let's say I write my wife at work asking if she would like to go to Outback Steakhouse for dinner. She writes back "whatever".

What does that mean. Does that mean she doesn't care if we go out? she doesn't care where we go out? She is mad that I suggested my favorite place to eat and not hers? Is she in a meeting and getting chewed out by her boss while the office water cooler is leaking and someone is breaking into her car in the parking lot?????

THERE IS NO WAY TO KNOW WHAT PEOPLE ARE SAYING IN AN EMAIL.

I have seen arguments breakout between coworkers because one person wrote an email with certain intentions and the recipient read it with different intentions.

Here are the rules of emails:

1. If you have to write more than 4 sentences to someone, then pick the phone up and call them.
2. If you are just delivering facts and not discussing anything, then email is fine.
3. ALL CAPITAL LETTERS MEANS YOU ARE REALLY ANGRY OR EXCITED. IF YOU ARE IN EXCEL WORKING WITH CAPS, TURN OFF THE CAP LOCK TO WRITE AN EMAIL.
4. If you are forwarding STUPID EMAIL JOKES please cut out the joke and put it in a fresh email. Stop being LAZY and forwarding the email addressES of the last 79 people it was sent to. It's takes a minute to clean it up. (if I see this, I immediately delete it)
5. Please go to SNOPES.COM to confirm a story before you forward false information to everyone in your address book. Once again, don't be lazy.
6. Lastly, call to confirm that an important email was received. Oh yeah, don't be lazy.

Emails are bad for business. Be careful when writing to people. What you hear in your head while typing an email isn't always what the recipient hears when reading it.

Wednesday, February 13, 2008

Press "0" to be disconnected

I just got off the phone with Washington Mutual Bank. I spent 10 minutes trying to get a real person.

My debit card allows me to spend $7000 in one day.
YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING. Like I need to have a limit of $7000 a day. So I called WAMU to lower my limit.

I tried to use their automated phone system to change my limit, but then never offered what I needed, so I did the next best thing. I pressed "0".

The recording told me I made an incorrect entry. So I pressed "0" again. They continued to tell me I have made an incorrect entry. I then started pounding the 0 like it's a video game button. The recording finally says I am sorry you have made an incorrect entry. Please call back later. Then it disconnects me.

I was now livid. So I quickly learned to play the automated game. Then only way to reach someone is act like you are going to spend money. So I chose the "open a long term CD" option. Wow. You'll never guess what happens next. I got a voice immediately. Well I'll be darned.

I then proceed to rip this person a new one. I told her that I have three business accounts with WAMU and they had better put in an entry fur customers to speak with a representative or I am pulling everything from WAMU and going to another bank.

Now get ready for this. She apologizes and tells me that all I had to do to speak with a representative was to......................... wait for it ......... press 0#0# and I would have been sent directly to a representative.

HOLY CRAP. I ALMOST BUSTED A BLOOD VESSEL. FORGIVE ME GOD, BUT HOW IN THE HELL WAS I SUPPOSED TO KNOW THAT. IT WASN'T ONE OF THE OPTIONS.

I am getting all worked up AGAIN just writing this.

Anyway, for those of you who bank with WAMU, press 0#0# to get through to someone on the national 800#. IN FACT, I ADVISE YOU TO ALWAYS BYPASS THE AUTOMATED SYSTEM NO MATTER WHAT.

If your calling your local branch just press option #3.

your welcome.

Monday, February 04, 2008

What needs to change in this country.

When are we going to stop the archaic forms of politics in the United States.

How about no Republican or Democrat parties. The lines are blurred anyway. Some say John McCain is a Democrat in Republican clothing. Some say Barack Obama has conservative values. Who cares about sides. Why not just vote for who you want.

How about no more electoral votes. Electoral votes were designed back in the Abraham Lincoln days when some people of the land couldn't travel to a voting place. THERE IS NO NEED FOR THIS ANYMORE. Everyone now has a horse and buggy and we all can make it to the voting booths. Every vote should count as one vote from now on. If they can track our votes for electoral voting, then they can keep track of our votes for President.

Here are a few things I would like to see the USA change:

1. Stop meddling in other countries affairs unless it DIRECTLY threatens us.

2. Stop giving money to other countries until we take care of our own deficit.

3. Make punishments fit the crime. I will not steal from my neighbor if it means 10 years hard labor. Murderers get three meals a day, a warm bed, clothing, TV, internet, books to read, paper to write on, basketball and weightlifting equipment, just to name a few luxuries. God help us when homeless people realize that they can have a better life by committing murder.

4. Teach parents in this country how to parent. Playstation 3 is not a babysitter. The parenting is at an all time low. If you don't believe me, just go to Hometown Buffet or Country Buffet and just look at the kids running around putting their fingers in the public food.

5. Clean up the High Schools immediately. If you don't want an education, Great! Get the Hell out, so the kids who do want to learn don't suffer. High Schools are just glorified jails.

6. Stop paying the Indians. How long are we going to pay for this country. We said we were sorry. Now move on. Once again, another archaic thing this country hangs on to.

7. Build a wall at all boarders. Have one entrance into the country at each state that touches the boarders. For example, California, Nevada, Texas, North Dakota, etc. would each monitor there own entrance into the country.

If I could find a candidate who cares about these issues, they will get my vote.

Otherwise it's just another four years of Saturday Night Live making fun of our president.