Thursday, December 18, 2008

I TRIED. I REALLY TRIED!!!

I have been told that I am too negative. I have been told that this blog isn't the most positive blog and doesn't help me in any way. I even tried to stay away from this blog and stop complaining so much in my life.

Then it came in the mail. I have a notice that was delivered in the mail that basically says: "If at any time in the future a dog is seen unconfined in your neighborhood, your mail delivery service will be suspended." So if my mailman sees a stray dog, I stop getting mail.

Here come the capital letters now. ARE YOU FREAKIN' KIDDING ME!!!!


It's bad enough that paying postage on your package doesn't ensure that your mail will ever be delivered. To ensure that your mail gets delivered, you have to insure it.

Now, I may not get mail delivered to my house because some stray dog is crossing the street. Somehow that's my fault. Somehow not bringing me mail will make stray dogs go away.


Soon I will have to go to the post office and sort out my mail from the rest of the neighborhood.

Don't the mailmen have mace? Bring a gun. Shoot the dog. I don't care as long as you bring my mail.


I swear, if my mail stops I will be shooting dogs left and right, unconfined, confined, hot dogs. I don't care. I will be blowing everything away.


Honestly, I don't think I could ever kill a dog, but I am angry and my mouth gets the best of me. I am so glad I didn't get rid of this blog.

3 comments:

warplayer said...

hahaha oh man, I know this is an old post, but I just ran across it right now. That is pretty ridiculous right there dude, one of the craziest things I've heard.

BTW, I like reading your rants, I always get a kick out of it ;)

Jack Scalfani said...

I just can't help it. It's in my nature. Glad you enjoy my frustrations. hahahaha

Cornelius Sneed said...

The problem is the whole affirmative action thing. These days we get wimpy mail-carriers (it used to be mail MEN) who get jobs they are not suited for. This, in fact, and of course, is certainly not isolated to the postal service.

However, anyone who delivers mail should not be afraid of dogs. I mean, what is it? "Neither snow nor rain nor heat nor gloom of night stays these couriers from the swift completion of their appointed rounds, but we didn't sign on to deal with a few mangy mutts?"

It reminds me of a vampire in Terry Pratchett's Discworld series, who is constantly complaining to the authorities, because he keeps getting reduced to dust as a result of working in various businesses that sell garlic, holy water, religious icons, and so on. At one point, he was even working as a tester of sunglasses.

Absurd? Of course. That's the point. Mail carriers who can't deal with dogs are about as useful as vampires employed to test tanning beds.